Oh, Look, Another Update *flees*

I’ll start off this post by saying two things (one thing is a list of rules, so I’m not sure it technically counts as two things–but I’m going with two).

First of all, I’m wearing a full sumo-wrestling bodysuit, so your pitchforks shall not penetrate. Any other way you want to penetrate, we’ll talk…

Secondly, I hate sympathy–of any kind. It makes me uncomfortable and awkward. So, rule one of this post–no sympathy, no sadness, no comforting words or expressions, no platitudes, no inspirational quotes. Them’s the rules I just made up! No flag, no country! Er…I mean, no sympathy! (if you didn’t get this, go watch Eddie Izzard. Go now!)

What you can do upon reading this post:

Yell at me
Tell me you hugged your cat/dog/hamsters(hug, I said, not squeeze), signficant other/sibling/parent/uncle/friend etc etc.
Tell politically incorrect jokes (or politically correct ones)
Explain in whatever words, how really annoying life is for you right now
Links to hot men
Tell me what awesome books you’ve read recently
Tell me about an awesome story you heard (Keeping in mind that I reddit)
Yell at me some more for not finishing quickly after my last update

We’ve established the rules. Now the post. (there’s a tl;dr: at the bottom =P)

In March, I wrote a post about updates and stuff. I had planned, after that post, to possibly have the book ready by June 1st. Life had a different plan for me. Less than two weeks later, I found a lump where there shouldn’t have been a lump. Anyway, long story short, I have cancer–or I had cancer? I dunno which it is. Since, apparently, you aren’t ever “cured”. I’d explain about remission but BORING, so I won’t.

I got shuffled into surgery, had the mass removed, along with a significant amount of tissue and basically just started feeling better yesterday when i found out that I get to go through chemo. YAY.

What this means for you? I hesitated to write this post, but 18 weeks is a long time. My chemo course is 18 weeks (it’s really 15 week treatment, but the last treatment stays in your system roughly 3 weeks). Chemo makes you tired. It makes you blah and sick and blah some more. I find it terribly difficult to write when I feel bad. So I’m annoyed more than anything. This doesn’t mean I won’t write, but it’s unlikely.

What else you might want to know: I have extremely good chances. 90% actually. So no worries, okay? They got most of it when they sliced out my tumor. \o/ The chemo is just a double barreled approach. So there you have it. Bad news, good news, whatever news.

tl;dr: I have cancer. 18 week chemo treatment pushes NSI back and I’m not going to die. PS: No sympathy is allowed, nor any sympathetic words. Yes, that includes empathy. Cancer jokes welcome.

PS: I’m serious about the sympathy stuff.

PPS: Also serious about the sexy menz links

PPPS: I’m going to try and finish in the two-three weeks before chemo starts. So don’t give up hope! There wasn’t a whole lot left to do before sending it out to others to read over.